Dear Pixar,
Have I told you lately that I love you?
No, really: I do. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're funny. You have legs and head and heart - the very kind I can get behind. What more could anyone ask from a computer animation studio?
Was it love at first sight? Well, no, not exactly; after all these years I'll admit it. Sure, Toy Story was wonderful, but you have to understand, I was at school when it came out, and when our usual teachers were off, or we were nearing the end of term, it was Toy Story that the substitutes resorted to; Toy Story in mean little half-hour chunks, again and again and again. This one VHS would do the rounds - from class to class and back - so often I swear there were times I had to splice the tape together. So too much of a good thing... all that. To be honest I got a bit sick of your first film.
But hey. It wasn't you, baby - it was me.
Mind you, I can't be held responsible for A Bug's Life. What was that, eh Pixar?
Never mind. I didn't; not for long at least. Because after that one little misstep, you just kept getting better... and better... and better. From Toy Story 2 through Monsters, Inc and on, finally, to Finding Nemo, which I could not at the time conceive of any possible improvement on.
Yet - bless your fluffy little lamp - you kept on at it. You gave us The Incredibles, which was super. Then came Cars: not the best thing since sliced bread, but at least it was better than A Bug's Life. That it to say, I didn't despise it like everyone else seemed to.
Anyway, onwards... and upwards! So it was that our affair continued, with a string of original, touching, truly masterful films beginning with Ratatouille - foodie good times - and ending with Up, which featured a three-minute musical masterpiece that can still bring a tear to the eye of this grumpy old asshat here.
Between those two beauties, however, a movie that is and will I think forever be among my very, very favourite films: WALL-E. WALL-E was incredible. Perfectly judged, elegiac yet optimistic... just... just something else. I don't have the words, and here I'm meant to be all about the words.
But - though I hate to say it - something's happened to us since. Perhaps it was because you'd scaled such impossible heights, and the only place you could go was back. A third Toy Story was one thing, and it worked; against all the odds perhaps, but still, it worked: for a goodbye it was good, great even. Yet where did you head next? What did you do with all that affection? You took it back to Cars.
This Summer, with Cars 2, I fear you've forsaken much of what made you such a marvel in my eyes, Pixar. And alas, the road ahead looks equally uneven. First and foremost, what's all this about Monsters Academy? Can I just say no thanks now, save you the wait? And of late - twist the knife why don't you! - there's been talk of Toy Story 4 too, and a sequel to The Incredibles.
Pixar, my darling... my dear, sweet Pixar: what in the name of all that's rendered are you up to? Where do you think you're going in such a hurry?
Deep into the annals of the damned Mouse House, I dare say.
Please, enough with this nonsense. This new agenda of yours to push out two movies a year rather than the one beautifully polished gem that you've found such success with... it's a deeply misguided modus operandi. Certainly it is if all you mean to make of it are the very sequels you nearly broke up with Disney over, a couple of years ago.
I'll be plain: two shitty nothings do no make one great something. Give me Brave.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
No, really: I do. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're funny. You have legs and head and heart - the very kind I can get behind. What more could anyone ask from a computer animation studio?
Was it love at first sight? Well, no, not exactly; after all these years I'll admit it. Sure, Toy Story was wonderful, but you have to understand, I was at school when it came out, and when our usual teachers were off, or we were nearing the end of term, it was Toy Story that the substitutes resorted to; Toy Story in mean little half-hour chunks, again and again and again. This one VHS would do the rounds - from class to class and back - so often I swear there were times I had to splice the tape together. So too much of a good thing... all that. To be honest I got a bit sick of your first film.
But hey. It wasn't you, baby - it was me.
Mind you, I can't be held responsible for A Bug's Life. What was that, eh Pixar?
Never mind. I didn't; not for long at least. Because after that one little misstep, you just kept getting better... and better... and better. From Toy Story 2 through Monsters, Inc and on, finally, to Finding Nemo, which I could not at the time conceive of any possible improvement on.
Yet - bless your fluffy little lamp - you kept on at it. You gave us The Incredibles, which was super. Then came Cars: not the best thing since sliced bread, but at least it was better than A Bug's Life. That it to say, I didn't despise it like everyone else seemed to.
Anyway, onwards... and upwards! So it was that our affair continued, with a string of original, touching, truly masterful films beginning with Ratatouille - foodie good times - and ending with Up, which featured a three-minute musical masterpiece that can still bring a tear to the eye of this grumpy old asshat here.
Between those two beauties, however, a movie that is and will I think forever be among my very, very favourite films: WALL-E. WALL-E was incredible. Perfectly judged, elegiac yet optimistic... just... just something else. I don't have the words, and here I'm meant to be all about the words.
This Summer, with Cars 2, I fear you've forsaken much of what made you such a marvel in my eyes, Pixar. And alas, the road ahead looks equally uneven. First and foremost, what's all this about Monsters Academy? Can I just say no thanks now, save you the wait? And of late - twist the knife why don't you! - there's been talk of Toy Story 4 too, and a sequel to The Incredibles.
Pixar, my darling... my dear, sweet Pixar: what in the name of all that's rendered are you up to? Where do you think you're going in such a hurry?
Deep into the annals of the damned Mouse House, I dare say.
Please, enough with this nonsense. This new agenda of yours to push out two movies a year rather than the one beautifully polished gem that you've found such success with... it's a deeply misguided modus operandi. Certainly it is if all you mean to make of it are the very sequels you nearly broke up with Disney over, a couple of years ago.
I'll be plain: two shitty nothings do no make one great something. Give me Brave.
Brave could be brilliant - in fact, on the basis of that trailer and my faith in One Man Band director John Andrews, I full well expect it to be. But I beg of you, Pixar: never mind the rest of your slate. Stop right there and save us all the heartache. Take a year out after Brave, or however long it takes for y'all to come up with something new and shiny and exciting rather than paving the way for the selfsame road to ruin you nearly went AWOL over in the dark part-ownership days.
Pixar, you've been with me for a long time. Through the happy times and the sad. And I know as well as anyone that all good things must come to and end, but... just... please... not like this.
Pixar, you've been with me for a long time. Through the happy times and the sad. And I know as well as anyone that all good things must come to and end, but... just... please... not like this.
Pretty please?
Hopefully yours,
Niall Alexander.