Ask Me Anything | A Squabble of Squirrels

Ahoy there, Scotsman!

Is it true, then, that the squirrels are taking over?

From "NotLarryAtAll"

In a word: no.

Do not believe the squirrels, nor the puppets they pass off as men. Do not believe their lies. For instance I can exclusively reveal that at least one rather esteemed blogger - you may not know him, but many do - is in fact several thousand squirrels in a man-suit. Each squirrel operates a tiny lever connected to every conceivable motor function, and work on a shift system, with an economy and a culture all their own. And voracious reading appetites, each and every one.

In addition, I regret to report that it is true, that their technologies are far in advance of ours. And their numbers - though much reduced - still add up to a credible threat if they were to muster together as one body, and one mind. But the squirrels are a notoriously forgetful enemy, prone to distraction (to run off and never return at the slightest hint of a tree, it has been observed) and only in rare cases capable of such collectivism as aforementioned. As yet, therefore, we need not live in fear of them.

Or perhaps that's simply what they want us to think...

Ultimately, the squirrels seem a sort of phantom menace -- created, perhaps, by the actual enemy of the future. Too little spoken of given their far-reaching influence, their very existence is even refuted by some; but there will come a day, be it in our lives, or in the lives of our children or our children's children, when the terror upon everyone's lips will be... the highland Haggi!