Ladies and gentlemen: today on The Speculative Scotsman, we're on autopilot.
And not, I should stress, because I'm busy, or better yet, busy being lazy. Oh no, not today. Today, we're on autopilot because the power company - I'll not name names - has opted, in its infinite wisdom, to cut the electricity to my entire town. From 7AM till 7PM.
At least they're being sort of symmetrical.
(I'm the kinda guy who can get behind a thing like that. Does that make me crazy? Anyway.)
In fairness to the folks, they let us know that this was on the cards a couple of weeks ago. I mean, they didn't give us any choice in the matter, and they're demanding access to the property at an ungodly hour OR ELSE, but at least we had a little while to acclimatise ourselves to the idea. So there's that.
And I have. That is to say, in time, I acclimatised to the idea. At first, I'll admit it, I declared a state of emergency. I started stockpiling bottled water, bought in a vast amount of snacks — strictly for sustenance, you understand. Furthermore, I stuffed the laptop so full of crap to keep me distracted during this offline apocalypse that I'll have to take some serious time to delete it all after this day is done. Assuming I make it.
But of course I'll make it. I knew that even then. Still, in this day and age, the idea of a whole day without power is sort of a scary thought, isn't it? And if not scary, then cruelly, unusually inconvenient. I mean, I'm going to get nothing done.
Then it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, no power - the absence of even the prospect of productivity - could be... brilliant.
So, long story short: today, I'm going to luxuriate - albeit temporarily - in the old ways. I'm going to go without the web, and gladly. I'm going to without the blog, without Twitter, without a connection to anything of any sort, and damn it all, I'm going to enjoy it. No video games, no movies, no music.
I'm even going turn off my mobile phone, because who needs half measures?
Can you imagine?
I can. :)
I've got what looks to be a good book: namely Caliban's War by James S. A. Corey. I've got a warm blanket. I've got a pot, enough bottled water to sink the Starship Intrepid, and a camping stove to make coffee if it comes to that. I may well be hoping it does.
Wish me luck, everyone!
And here, between you and me, if you in the near-to-far future have the chance to get off the grid for a day, pause in your mad panic buying. Take a moment, the better to remember this most excellent advice:
I'll see you all on the other side, alright?